The Flowers of my Life
Perhaps as a kid my first “awareness” of a flower was when my playmates made bubble-formula using a detergent soap and Gumamela flowers. Oh the sizes of those bubbles and the seeming strength as they move in the air! We had so much fun trying to pop as many!
Then as a boy scout I saw many flowers especially whenever we go on a hike in the mountains - wild flowers whose beauty is hidden from the people below. Perhaps it grew easily that way as nature is most undisturbed.
I was a practical romantic teen and so, I gave a chocolate flower to one of the girls that caught my attention. The funny thing is, I can’t remember the girl now and yet I remember giving her “flowers”.
Later on in life, with the realization for the need to be healthy, I began devouring veggie flowers – cauliflower, squashflower and bananaflower (heart). It’s always a treat to have them in my meals! Later on I discovered Chicharon bulaklak. Certainly not for its health benefits!
But there was a moment when I was literally flooded with flowers whose message was meant to comfort me. Beautifully arranged, with the right mix of ornamental plants, these flowers line up the hall and stairs of my in laws house. Never had the chance to count them as their number grew each day for that whole week of wake. My wife, named after a flower – Ivy, passed away at 38 yrs old. She is 8 months and a half pregnant with my first son who also died with her. I have to admit that at the time, the power of those flowers never reached my hurting soul. I have lost my most meaningful flower and the little bud she was carrying.
How can one move on with such loss? Theoretically then, I knew and believe that the Gardener is always in control – making sure that His flowers will always be there for us. And so from the cognitive, I moved on to realize and experience the Gardener’s masterful and creative hands at work.. He “replanted” another flower and in due time – He turned my mourning into dancing! Now two little buds have been added to my already two blossoming teens from Ivy.
Chi, not an Ivy, but the Gardener’s flower for me at this crossroad.
It has now been 7 years since that fateful day of July 16, 2000.
Then as a boy scout I saw many flowers especially whenever we go on a hike in the mountains - wild flowers whose beauty is hidden from the people below. Perhaps it grew easily that way as nature is most undisturbed.
I was a practical romantic teen and so, I gave a chocolate flower to one of the girls that caught my attention. The funny thing is, I can’t remember the girl now and yet I remember giving her “flowers”.
Later on in life, with the realization for the need to be healthy, I began devouring veggie flowers – cauliflower, squashflower and bananaflower (heart). It’s always a treat to have them in my meals! Later on I discovered Chicharon bulaklak. Certainly not for its health benefits!
But there was a moment when I was literally flooded with flowers whose message was meant to comfort me. Beautifully arranged, with the right mix of ornamental plants, these flowers line up the hall and stairs of my in laws house. Never had the chance to count them as their number grew each day for that whole week of wake. My wife, named after a flower – Ivy, passed away at 38 yrs old. She is 8 months and a half pregnant with my first son who also died with her. I have to admit that at the time, the power of those flowers never reached my hurting soul. I have lost my most meaningful flower and the little bud she was carrying.
How can one move on with such loss? Theoretically then, I knew and believe that the Gardener is always in control – making sure that His flowers will always be there for us. And so from the cognitive, I moved on to realize and experience the Gardener’s masterful and creative hands at work.. He “replanted” another flower and in due time – He turned my mourning into dancing! Now two little buds have been added to my already two blossoming teens from Ivy.
Chi, not an Ivy, but the Gardener’s flower for me at this crossroad.
It has now been 7 years since that fateful day of July 16, 2000.
Labels: remembering
posted by bongkiko at 10:28 PM
3 Comments:
this is one piece which didn't take me to an inch thick of reading to wake up to that particular place and time, of my version of sorrow and joy. gives me a reason to cry again.
two thoughts : foremost, yes, the garderner is in charge. secondly,flowers and gifts called for by an occasion simply translate into work and money in business. as a florist, this reminds me that i serve as a channel to touch other peoples lives. and that's not simply work and money.
ang galimng bro! musta ka na! God has led me to find your blog. baka may inihahandang proyekto na magsasama ulit tayo :-)
kape tayo pagbalik ko from Laos.
joel wayne ganibe
0921727-4753
What a touching blog.
I do really admire the wonders and powers of a flower. I wanna believe that flowers are messages from God giving us hope and love.
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